Bud on the Issues
Take a minute to consider Bud's position on the issues that are affecting you and your family, and you will agree that Bud is a person who has these positions.
We need to end fraud, waste, and abuse in the public sector. Think of it as if big government has committed murder, the victim is your tax dollars, and I am a homicide detective. And the murder weapon is fraud, waste, and abuse. And I have a trenchcoat.
We need a health care system that works for us. When I went to the doctor last week to have my goiter drained, the doctor started pushing me around, saying that's not how goiters work. Listen, buddy. I know how goiters work, I don't need you telling me about my goiter.
We need a hands-on, common-sense approach to negotiating with trash haulers so everyone can have their own trash collection system that works for them, and I can have my own system that works for me where I just burn all of my garbage in the gigantic open pit in my backyard.
We need to focus on public transit options that work, instead of underutilized and over-budget light rail trains with doors that close on your pants and then when the train moves it tears your pants off and then leaves with your pants and then you're naked on Hiawatha and 38th.
We need to be ready as a society for the next phase of evolution in worker automation in the economy, which is why I advocate a comprehensive Technological Marshall Plan to round up all of the computers around town and throw them into the big pit behind my house.
Students are taking on more debt to obtain degrees that are increasingly mandatory to find a job in an economy which, in turn, will never provide the pay required to afford the loans that paid for the education that was necessitated by the job in the first place. This is hilarious.
Black Lives Matter
Can't I say something else that both satisfies your understandable desire for social justice, but also allows me to maintain the system of racial inequality that has made my blindingly white life to matter more than others? I would love that.
It's clear we need to confront this public health crisis head-on, and prevent this disease from wreaking any more havoc on our society, which is why I plan to march into the halls of government office and demand that they stop giving funding to Covid-19, and all related programs.
Defund the Police
Fine! Let's defund the police! But only if you're ready to live in a world where you can't call in a van full of gun wielding psychos to shoot up your neighbor's house because their lawn is 1/4 of an inch taller than yours.
My name is Bud, and I’m running for office in the great state of Minnesota. As a lifelong human and current Minnesotan, I know the problems that assail the average Minnesotan human, such as income taxes, and consuming enough sustenance to live through the harsh Minnesota winter. As a successful entrepreneur and CEO of a business with 6-10 employees, I’m pretty confident that I’ll be able to figure out the basics of how government works by the time any big decisions come up. And I’ll be putting government to work for you!
What Neighbors Are Saying
Your neighbors are abuzz about Bud McKenzie! See what they have to say, even though you claim to not care what they think, but if that were true, then why do you keep commenting on everything they post online? If you didn't care, you'd just unfollow them, wouldn't you?
"My property taxes went up $26 this year. Bud said once he gets into office, he'll pay me back the $26, plus he'll throw in a free back and neck massage. Isn't that nice?"
"Bud knocked on my door and shook my hand. That's cool, no one's done that before. As long as he's the last person to do that before election day, he's got my vote."
"Bud would have seemed so out of place running for office four years ago, but for some reason, and it is not entirely clear why, this just seems normal to me now."